Your Relationship with Yourself Matters – Therapy in Ottawa | Felt Sense Psychotherapy
- jennifergrindonthe
- Feb 6
- 3 min read
The relationship we build with ourselves is the longest relationship we will ever have. It
shapes how we see the world, how we move through anxiety, depression, trauma, and
stress, and how we connect with partners, family, and friends. In therapy in Ottawa, one
of the most important goals is helping people develop a healthier, more compassionate
relationship with themselves.
At Felt Sense Psychotherapy in Ottawa, we understand that emotional healing involves
developing a kind and supportive internal presence — the type of presence that can stay
with you in moments of overwhelm, self-doubt, relationship conflict, and uncertainty.
Strengthening your relationship with yourself can improve attachment patterns, nervous
system regulation, and overall mental health.
What Does “Relationship with Self” Mean in Counselling?
In psychotherapy, your relationship with yourself refers to how you relate inwardly,
especially during moments of distress. This includes:
• How you show up for yourself when you're anxious, triggered, or overwhelmed
• How you respond to your emotions, needs, body sensations, and thoughts
• Whether your inner voice feels supportive or critical
• How safely you can be with difficult feelings such as shame, anger, or sadness
A supportive relationship with yourself doesn’t mean you always feel confident or happy.
It means being a reliable, compassionate, and attuned presence to yourself — a core
focus in trauma therapy, attachment therapy, and felt sense therapy in Ottawa.
Building Self-Compassion in Therapy
Self-compassion is one of the most powerful tools used in counselling and
psychotherapy to heal anxiety, depression, people‑pleasing, and relationship wounds.
Research shows self‑compassion improves emotional regulation and resilience. It rests
on three core pillars:
1. Self‑Kindness – treating yourself in a caring and supportive way instead of with harsh
self‑criticism
2. Common Humanity – recognizing that suffering and imperfection are part of being
human
3. Mindful Awareness – noticing what is happening internally with curiosity instead of
judgment
For many people in therapy, self‑compassion can feel unfamiliar or even uncomfortable.
You might notice thoughts like:
• “If I’m hard on myself, I’ll do better.”
• “I don’t deserve compassion until I’ve earned it.”
• “Being kind to myself feels fake.”
These responses are normal, especially for people with trauma, attachment wounds, or
high expectations of themselves. Self‑compassion is a relational skill that can be
strengthened through counselling, somatic therapy, and nervous system work.
Practical Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship with Yourself
1. Notice Your Inner Voice
Begin by paying attention to how you speak to yourself throughout the day. Is your inner
dialogue harsh, neutral, or gentle? In therapy, simply noticing this pattern without forcing
change is a powerful first step.
2. Experiment With Kindness
You might try:
• Speaking to yourself the way you would to a close friend
• Imagining a warm, supportive figure offering reassurance
• Using gentle self‑touch such as a hand over your heart or wrapping your arms around
yourself
These somatic practices help bring compassion into the body, which is central to felt
sense psychotherapy.
3. Normalize Your Struggle
Remind yourself that what you’re experiencing is hard and that imperfection is human.
Therapy helps many Ottawa clients shift from “What’s wrong with me?” to “Of course this
makes sense.”
4. Practice Mindful Attention
Instead of pushing emotions away, try naming them:
• “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now.”
• “A part of me is scared.”
This simple act can soften emotional intensity and create space for self‑compassion
and nervous system regulation.
Therapy in Ottawa Can Help
We aren’t aiming for perfection. What matters is a willingness to come back to yourself
again and again with patience and curiosity. Over time, your relationship with yourself
grows stronger through consistent acts of presence and care.
If your inner world feels hard to navigate, or if self‑criticism, anxiety, or relationship
patterns keep pulling you back, working with a therapist in Ottawa can help. Felt Sense
Psychotherapy offers trauma‑informed, attachment‑focused counselling to help you
feel safer with yourself and others.
Keywords: therapy Ottawa, Ottawa therapist, self‑compassion therapy, felt sense
psychotherapy Ottawa, trauma therapy Ottawa, attachment counselling, nervous system
regulation, anxiety counselling Ottawa, relationship with self, somatic therapy Ottawa.
References
compassion-as-an-intrapersonal-resource-of-pe.pdf
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