Attachment Patterns — And How Therapy Can Help

Attachment-Based & Trauma-Informed Therapy in Ottawa, Ontario

Many people understand their relationship patterns intellectually. They know they’re anxious, avoidant, or stuck in push-pull dynamics. They can trace these patterns back to childhood or past relationships.

And yet—when conflict happens, their body reacts before their insight can help.

This is because attachment isn’t just psychological—it’s physiological.

At Felt Sense Psychotherapy in Ottawa, we integrate attachment-based therapy with somatic, nervous-system–informed approaches to support real, embodied change.

Attachment Patterns Are Nervous System Patterns

Attachment theory helps us understand how early relationships shape:

    •    How safe we feel with closeness

    •    How we respond to conflict or disconnection

    •    How we ask for needs—or avoid them

    •    How we protect ourselves in relationships

These patterns are stored in the body, not just in the mind.

When attachment wounds are activated, the body may move into:

    •    Fight or flight (protest, anxiety, anger, pursuit)

    •    Freeze or shutdown (withdrawal, numbness, collapse)

This happens automatically. No amount of “knowing better” can override a dysregulated nervous system.

Why Talk Therapy Often Isn’t Enough for Attachment Wounds

Many clients come to therapy saying:

    •    “I know my attachment style.”

    •    “I understand why I react this way.”

    •    “I’ve done years of insight work.”

Yet their reactions persist.

That’s because attachment wounds require relational and somatic repair, not just cognitive understanding. Healing happens when the body experiences safety, attunement, and responsiveness—often for the first time.

Somatic therapy allows us to work with these experiences in real time.

What Is Attachment-Focused Somatic Therapy?

Attachment-focused somatic therapy explores how relationships are felt in the body.

In sessions, we pay attention to:

    •    Sensations that arise when discussing closeness or conflict

    •    The urge to pursue, withdraw, appease, or shut down

    •    How your system learned to stay safe in connection

    •    What helps your body settle when attachment is activated

This work happens slowly and collaboratively. Nothing is forced, and pacing is guided by your window of tolerance.

Signs Attachment-Based Somatic Therapy May Help

This approach may be especially supportive if you:

    •    Feel anxious, overwhelmed, or panicked in relationships

    •    Shut down or emotionally disconnect during conflict

    •    Struggle with trust even when someone is consistent

    •    Feel hyper-attuned to others’ moods

    •    Repeat relationship patterns despite insight

    •    Crave closeness but feel unsafe when it’s available

These are not character flaws—they are adaptive attachment responses.

Healing Attachment Trauma in the Nervous System

Attachment trauma doesn’t always come from obvious harm. It can come from:

    •    Emotional inconsistency

    •    Caregivers who were overwhelmed or unavailable

    •    Relationships where repair didn’t happen

    •    Chronic misattunement

Over time, the nervous system learns to anticipate disconnection or danger.

Trauma-informed, attachment-based therapy helps the body learn something new:

That connection can be safe, responsive, and reparative.

Attachment & Somatic Therapy for Couples

Couples often come to therapy stuck in cycles like:

    •    Pursue–withdraw

    •    Protest–shutdown

    •    Escalation followed by distance

These cycles are attachment-driven and nervous-system-driven.

In couples therapy, we work to:

    •    Slow down reactive patterns

    •    Increase awareness of bodily responses during conflict

    •    Support co-regulation and emotional safety

    •    Build new attachment experiences through repair

This approach helps couples move from blame to understanding.

Looking for an Attachment-Based Therapist in Ottawa?

If you’re searching for:

    •    Attachment-based therapy Ottawa

    •    Somatic therapy Ontario

    •    Trauma-informed therapist for relationships

    •    Nervous system regulat

ion therapy

    •    Couples therapy with an attachment focus

Felt Sense Psychotherapy offers therapy grounded in safety, attunement, and embodiment.

We provide individual therapy, couples therapy, and lower-fee options through supervised intern therapists.

Attachment Healing Is Felt, Not Forced

Attachment wounds don’t heal through willpower.

They heal through felt experiences of safety, responsiveness, and repair.

If you’re ready for therapy that works with both your relationships and your nervous system, Felt Sense Psychotherapy is here to support you.

👉 Book a consultation or learn more about attachment-based somatic therapy today.

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